Confidence is sexy. Confidence in your positive traits and being able to deal with your negatives. Pretending you’re somebody else doesn’t work. Not in your personal life. Not as a business. If you are confident, if you love yourself for who you are, the majority will feel the same way about you.

The brand landfill is littered with brands pretending to be something they’re not: Brand extensions such as Hooters Air or Trump Cologne come to mind. Or the well-reported flogsof Wal-Mart and PSP. 

A long time ago, Avis lead the charge in showing their confidence in being #2. They didn’t try to claim to be leader in everything (Unlike almost all car companies - just look at their performance claims.), they made their customers feel confident in buying from the #2 rental company, giving all others another reason to try them out. Because they tried harder.

Just look at today’s airline branding disaster: Yes, all the traditional airlines (AA, United, Delta) still have their Crown Rooms, their pre-boarding for Medallion and Platinum members. But, once seated, you still in an aging plane with grumpy employees and grumpier passengers. (Overheard on an AA flight a few days ago - Purser: “We know you have many choices of bankrupt airlines.” - Now there’s somebody being honest.)

In the new marketing reality, brands need to be authentic. They might need to confront negative truths but there are ways of turning these negatives into positives. No, I’m not talking about spin. I’m talking about using your weaknesses as strengths in your communication and conversations. Just like Avis did.

Whenever we get hired by a new client, we try to immerse ourselves in their brand world: Read anything we can find about the brand, talk to the stakeholders, explore the blogosphere, discover their brand mythology, experience their products and services. All very heady, sensual and experiential. And interesting.

The idea of attending a sales conference came up and I jumped on it immediately. Sure, you might not hear the newest Web 3.56 ideas or Twitter applications. But you get something much more valuable: The story behind the story behind the story. I discovered the backbone of the brand, chatted with people that take care of the brand while selling to people, solving their problems and being rejected day by day. Factory tours are a good start but talking with real people is where the real magic happens. I found it to be highly interesting, inspirational and insightful.

It takes you away from the Marketing Ivory Tower to the authentic essence of the brand. Exactly what I was looking for.

It’s fascinating to see how the media and public trash Silda Spitzer for her appearance during the apology press conference last Monday. People describe her behavior as nauseating, phony, awful. Years ago when Hillary Clinton stood by Bill or Dina Matos McGreevey flanked her husband through his coming-out affair, the public almost admired the courage and love of these women. Today, the same women would face the wrath of the majority.

Sure, one reason is the lack of authenticity. Is there a wife in this world holding hands with her husband a few days after she found out about $4,000 hookers? We’ve seen it too many times (Hillary, Matos McGreevy and Suzanne Craig come to mind) and we just don’t believe our eyes anymore. Just like the defendant claiming not guilty after being caught on tape. Or the kid being caught in the cookie jar. Over years of life and media experience, people have formed very sensitive antennas for bull***t.

Having said that, we encounter bull***t all day long but don’t get that enraged. Why are that many people angry?

Silda Spitzer played the part she was supposed to play in the past: Women were supposed to stand by their men. Women were supposed to look adoringly at their husbands when they deliver the stump speech for the gazillionth time. Times have changed.

All of us encounter new and changing expectations each and every day.As a father, it’s not enough to just pat your kid on the back and go to work. Now, you need to change diapers and overcome endless sleepless to be called a father. Same is true for agencies: Three Martini lunches and an overnight creative effort won’t win you any pitch anymore. There’s a lot of chatter about the changing agency landscape.

Big Agencies used to be celebrity-filled creative hot shops with no strategic insights and, besides awards, no reason to exist, besides looking beautiful. While many creative agencies have adjusted to the times and revealed innovative creative work, most media agencies have not learned their lesson. They are still smiling at their beloved creative shop and client.

Yes, I know. Changing from stepchild at the table to household leader is hard. But media agencies have no choice: People are not where they used to be and media is not as easy as it used to be. Reaching the audience has become a monumental task. Engaging the audience feels like a Sisyphean task. Dont’ even bother asking about connecting.

Agencies have to adjust to them times. Reach loses its importance. Real, authentic connections become essential. This might happen through product development participation, advanced design or conversational marketing. But it has to happen. And will.

Otherwise, you’ll end up in a pitiful spot. Just like Silda Spitzer.