We tend to value things by putting a price tag on it: The watch must be good because it costs $5,000. The Mercedes-Benz must be better because it’s more expensive than the VW. Applying the same method to relationships or connections seems laughable: What is the value of a friend? What is the value of a business connection?  

Unfortunately, Wall Street, many businesses and agencies try to value Social Networks just on a monetary basis. They see the overvaluation of Facebook as a reminder of the dotcom bubble and a warning sign that all this talk about Social Media and Conversational Marketing might just be that: talk. 

I agree: Facebook is not a $15 billion company. But, at the same time, I couldn’t care less. I’m not Mark Zuckerberg, I’m not an investor, shareholder, don’t really care if Facebook ever makes a profit. I don’t even care if Facebook survives the next two years, ends up to be another MySpace aka Advertising Network or thrives and prospers. But users care: Once they feel the sell-out, they’re moving on.

What I care about are changing behavior patterns: People don’t ask companies anymore to get them things, they ask their peers. People avoid advertising at any cost but they are open to valuable tools that facilitate their conversations. Facebook is one site where many of these changing behavior patterns manifest themselves. There are thousand others. And you can experience it outside of the digital space: In airplanes, at work, in pre-school, stuck in traffic.  

Debating the value of MySpace or Facebook might be an entertaining discussion. But it distracts us from the fact that people are changing. Relationships and connections are the real value of Social Networks. Not a Wall Street price tag. 

Remember the 90’s? Portals were all the craze. Each site wanted to become a portal because advertising would pay for everything. Even the sushi lunches and ‘dress-up-your-cubicle-because-we-expect-you-to-work-24/7′ contests. When I hear discussions between media professionals about social networks, I’m reminded of pre-bubble times because everybody focuses on monetization. More importantly, everybody still believes that advertising will pay for everything.

Social Networks exist because people want to connect. They don’t exist to sell eyeballs to advertisers. The whole idea of inviting people into a walled garden will sound absurd in a few years. The Internet is like New York: eclectic, bizarre, fun, annoying, loud, inspiring, tiring. The moment you try to turn it into a gated community, you kill the essence of the Internet Experience.

The reason why we experience monetizing issues with Facebook and MySpace is the underlying paradigm of selling eyeballs. People that frequent social networks don’t see themselves as eyeballs. And they become very sensitive and defensive when they are treated that way. People don’t care about business models. Instead, they expect a useful experience from a social network. Not an interruptive content experience. Brands and Wall Street have to understand this monumental paradigm shift. (So forget about that Facebook IPO.)

Brands that consider social networks as fertile grounds to add value, connect and build relationships with people will succeed. Brands that see social networks as another opportunity to get eyeballs will fail. Miserably.